About a year after we started trying, we decided to get a head start on seeing a specialist. We Googled specialists in the area and found two. We called the one in Spokane and were told that the wait would be 6 months to get in. 6 months seemed like a lifetime, so we called the "specialist" in Coeur d' Alene and were told that we could get in right away.
So of course we went with the "specialist" in Coeur d' Alene. Long story short, he wasn't a specialist. He was a retired 80 something year old OBGYN who wanted a hobby when his son moved him from Missouri. He had me go through a lot of pointless procedures and he put me on a lot of needless medication that cost a lot of money, but he wasn't willing to run any tests to find out the underlying causes. When I asked him if we could run tests, he'd say "there's really no sure way to find out."
There was a horrifying incident involving an HSG scan and this "specialist". He performed the scan wrong and caused a lot of needless, horrifying pain and tearing in my cervix. It was so painful I was screaming through out (which I don't do), and I was in and out of consciousness.
Shortly after that experience, we decided to cut our losses and try with the actual specialist in Spokane and we would wait however long we needed to. I did try out an acupuncturist after hearing that it helped with infertility. I'm not saying that it doesn't work, but it didn't help with my infertility problems and I didn't find it relaxing.
Last August we got in to see the specialist in Spokane who actually turned out to be one of the best infertility specialists in the nation, and he diagnosed us almost right away. We had to take some tests, but he was able to detect our issues based on those tests. It was a real eye opener and almost made me more angry for waiting so long.
As much as we were excited to hear a diagnoses, the results were a bit heartbreaking. We were told that our chances of conceiving on our own would be slim to none. We could keep trying and hope for a miracle, or we could do IVF. We went home and cried, and cried some more. We held each other a lot and some days we stayed in bed unable to do anything.
We needed that period of mourning, but after several days we were able to come to grips with everything. We made a plan and we realized that more than anything we had hope. Our doctor told us that if we did IVF our chances of conceiving would be high. However, it was the price of IVF that we had to wrap our heads around and the timeline of when we would be able to accomplish this.
Luckily, we had been saving money as it was. We decided that January of this year would be the month we would do the procedure. In December, they monitored my periods so they could control when I ovulated. They did this by putting me on birth control for several weeks prior.
To prepare my body for the ovulation and egg retrieval, I took HCG and Follistim daily, which were injected into my belly by Cam. We took Ganirellix for a couple days before the retrieval which was also injected into my belly. Because of the meds, my ovaries were full of follicles which created a lot of cramping. Two nights before the retrieval, (A Saturday) they have you take an HCG trigger shot at a specific time, which tells your body to ovulate.
On the following Monday, we went in really early. I dressed in a gown, socks, and a super sexy cap for my hair. They put me under anesthesia and retrieved all my eggs. This was done by injecting this needle into my ovaries and draining my follicles one at a time to collect all the eggs. I had around 13 follicles total, so that was a lot of poking. Afterwards, my ovaries swelled up to the size of melons, which was very painful and made me look 6 months pregnant. I became best friends with my heating pad and hot baths.
I started on the progesterone in oil injections which had to be injected into a muscle on my bum. I've done this every night for about a month.... I also had to get blood draws in the office on a daily basis, which turned into a weekly basis. After all was said and done, I am confident in saying that I was poked by needles well over 100 times in one month.
A couple nights after the retrieval, I woke up with severe pain in my chest. It felt like something was sitting on my chest or obstructing my esophagus. I could hardly breath and the pain was unbearable. I took some Tylenol, but they seemed to get stuck in my throat. I've had heart problems in the past and I was so scared that I was having a heart attack. After trying to bear through it for so long, Cam took me to the ER.
It turned out that I was having esophageal spasms which often mirror the symptoms of a heart attack. They gave me some meds that helped sooth the pain and I was able to go home and go back to bed. They said it was a result of the anesthesia.
The day after the retrieval, the office called and told me how many eggs they retrieved which was 12. This was a lot less than I had hoped for - I know that a lot of women generally get around 15-20; and of course this made me extremely anxious. We were told that that number usually drops significantly within a couple days and then some. I was so worried that they were all going to die off. On the 5th day, they called and told me that 9 embryos had survived and 8 had turned into blastocysts (this number is amazing and almost unheard of!). We went in an hour later for the transfer.
We had all but two eggs frozen and they transferred the two blastocysts. This was an incredible experience and unfortunately Cam didn't get to share it with me. I had to drink 32oz of water before I came in and I dressed in the same garb as I wore with the retrieval. They took me to the OR, I was able to see my two "babies" in the petri dish (they had magnified them on a screen), which was incredible and extremely overwhelming! All I could think about was that these two babies were mine and I loved them so incredibly. I tried not to lose it on the table with my legs spread eagle, but there were lots of tears involved. I was able to see on a screen, as they transferred them inside me. It was magical!
Afterwards, I had to lie down for 20 minutes and Cam was able to sit next to me and hold my hand. I cried a lot!
Then came more waiting. This was an unbearable long two weeks of uncertainty. I had started feeling some symptoms of pregnancy, so I suspected that I might be pregnant, but I was scared of being sure. On the 27 of January, I went in really early to the office and had my blood drawn.
I came home and crawled into bed with Cam and waited for the phone call. It came at exactly 9:00 am and it was brief. It was Leann, the nurse coordinator telling me that my levels were perfect and that I was indeed pregnant!! I hung up the phone and Cam and I immediately hugged each other and cried. After so long, after so many negative pregnancy tests, after so many many painful scans and intruding tests, after being groped by an 80 year old man in an office at one point, we were here. We were pregnant!!!!
We went in for our first ultra sound where they only found one baby. I asked if he was sure there was only one baby and he said that he was pretty sure. To be honest, I was a little sad. After having that experience in the OR with my two blastocysts, I felt some loss and a little heartbreak. We still felt extremely blessed to have even one.
The following week, we came back in and they found a second baby. He casually mentions that there's another sac, and I'm like "what?!". He told me to calm down and not get too excited because he couldn't find a heartbeat. He said that he was sure it wasn't viable and that it had probably already miscarried.
The third week, we came in and they found two heartbeats, but the second baby was small and it's heartbeat was really low. He told me not to get my hopes up and that it would probably miscarry within the week. This was making us feel a little crazy with all the uncertainty. A part of me thinks that they try to brace you for the worst case possible...It seemed like ever week we were leaving even more unsure than the last.
This last Wednesday we went in and they found two babies, and two heartbeats. Our second baby is doing much better and although he's still small, he should be ok with close monitoring. My doctor did say that they may have to run some tests in the future.
I went to a regular OBGYN today where he told me that most babies that miscarry, do so within the first 8 weeks, and we can take a small sigh of relief.
I've been extremely nauseous, but luckily haven't thrown up. My boobs hurt a lot, but it's a small price to pay. My appetite has completely gone out the window and I've all of a sudden taken a liking to yogurt...which I normally absolutely despise! Sleeping has been rough, and fatigue has become a permanent resident in my life, but all in all, I feel great!
Tonight we went to Walmart to pick up some dishwasher detergent and for the first time, we took a stroll through the baby aisle. I couldn't bring myself to do it at all before now, but today we looked at bassinets, cribs, and strollers and imagined the day that we got to buy them (not from Walmart). We looked at all the toys, blankets, pacifiers, and onesies and I felt so overwhelmed...I'm pregnant! With Twins!!We are extremely happy and excited and we feel extremely blessed!! We can't wait to hold our babies in our arms and love them like no one but us could. It's been 2 years since we started this journey and I feel blessed in a sense for having gone through this trial, because I know that we will be amazing parents and we will love our children all the more for having to work so hard for them. We have thanked God so many times for this blessing and couldn't feel more grateful!
